A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and
run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan,
the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman
underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied
to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot
room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. However, when using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to
throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words
"Uh-oh," it's already too late.
A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on
an overcast day.
Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive
tract of a four-year-old.
The words "Play Dough" and "Microwave"
should never be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though
TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.
You probably do not want to know what that odor
is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute
response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earth worms dizzy.
It will however make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
