Students are given a two-sided survey. One side is for them to fill out; the other side is for their parents to fill out. The student side asks two questions. The first is What are specific qualities  that describe the perfect life-long mate for you? The second question asks What are specific qualities that you think your parents want for you to find in a life-long mate? The other side of the survey--the one for parents--also asks two questions. The first is What specific qualities to hope your child finds in a life-long mate? The second is What qualities do you think your child values most in a life-long mate? I write a note to parents explaining that we are preparing to read Romeo & Juliet, and I ask them not to look at their child's answers before answering their own questions.

When students return to class with completed surveys, I ask for volunteers to report to the class answers to both sides of the survey. Inevitably there are big differences not only in what students want in a life-long mate and what their parents want for them, but also in what students think their parents want for them versus what they really want for their children and in what parents think their children want for themselves.

It may sound confusing, but the form I have developed makes it pretty easy to get good information from both students and parents.